Aisle To Freedom (Conclusion)

or so i thought until the first time Tony decided to physically take out his anger on me. His silly mistake earlier that week had cost the company a ton of money. He got home that Friday rather gloomy, obviously still brooding over the incident. I tried to pacify him to no avail. We went to bed after dinner. He tried to get freaky around 1am and when I subtly turned him down, it was like I had been in bed with a total stranger. He went on and on about how he owned me and how much of an ingrate I was. He rubbed it in my face how other girls were dying to have him and how lucky I was to have him. When I tried to stand up just to go freshen up for him, he dragged me back and a very hot slap landed on my right cheek. He said it was rude of me to try to walk out on him while he was chastising me. He stormed out of the room and I kid you not, my hands were on that cheek till he came back at 3am. He apologized. He said he wouldn’t ever have to hit me if I never made him so angry. I thought he did it to correct me out of love; I had provoked him so I deserved it. He promised me it would never happen again and I believed him. He came back home later that day with a trunk filled with gifts and flowers.

By the end of service year, he proposed. It was the most romantic thing. We were at the movies alone as usual; he had a habit of renting the whole theatre whenever we wanted to see a movie. Shortly after the movie started, Mosa’s Femi started playing while pictures of us flashed across the screen. I turned to ask him what was going on but found him on his knees. Need I say he got a yes? He wanted us to walk down the aisle ASAP so the plans started in earnest and that was when I realized I hadn’t found a husband!

We disagreed about everything. From the size of the wedding to trivialities such as the wedding colours. I started seeing a whole nother side of Tony. He would always have his way no matter who would get hurt in the process. Did I mention Tony is an only child? It was then it all began to add up. Tony was a brat who for some reason could not take the word “no”, neither could he do anything for himself. I was practically the maid who also happened to answer her boss’ booty calls. The beatings became incessant, the makeup sex a lot less amazing, the quality and quantity of the gifts began to reduce and I just wanted out!

A week to the big day, Tony and I had yet another episode and this time around, I landed in the hospital. I had packed grapes instead of blueberries along with his lunch. He got back home ranting about how unprepared I was to become his Mrs. I tried to explain to him that we had run out of blueberries and I had forgotten to put a call through to him after giving his lunch to the driver earlier that day. It was as though the word “FORGOTTEN” triggered something in his brain. He literally lost it. He started hitting me till I fell to the ground. He then dragged me by my hair, kicking me in swift succession. The last thing I remembered was searing pain as my head collided with the kitchen tiles.

I woke up in the hospital to find Foye and Laurel by my bedside. Tony came around a while later with his mum who kept apologizing on his behalf. After everyone left, he fell on his knees and started crying like a baby. I told him it was over. I told him how less of a human he made me feel every time he hit me…. every time he talked to me like I did not matter to him. He apologized profusely and when he did not bring up how much of an ingrate I was, how much he had invested in me, how grateful I should be to have him or how much money would be wasted if we had to cancel our wedding, I thought he was sincere. He even promised never to lay a finger on me again. He lied!

The night before our wedding, my friends and I went for my hen night while the boys went for the bachelor’s eve as planned by Tony.  We got back around 2am and Tony was in a state! I apologized and teased him about how the entire thing was his plan. He got so furious and started to throw punches at fragile me right in front of our friends. But for Kamal and Deyemi’s intervention, I would have had a blind and not black left eye on my wedding day. After a couple of hours, he came knock on my door and slid love notes beneath the door just like in Black American movies. He had written so many sweet things that looked bland and depthless to me. I nevertheless replied with the kindest and most assuring words.

My makeup artist did a fantastic job in the morning. But for those who were around during the incident, no one would have ever guessed I had a black eye that morning. My dad got to the venue early enough to walk me down the aisle. The venue was so amazing. It was everything Tony dreamed of. I saw my soon-to-be husband down the aisle and gave him the widest grin ever. He heaved a sigh of relief just about the time the organist started playing “Here comes the bride”. I got to the end of the aisle and just like we had rehearsed, the priest asked, “Who gives this man out to this woman?” my father replied “I do”. The priest asked if Tony believed God has called him for marriage, if he would give himself to me and live with me in the covenant of marriage; if he would love, comfort, honour and protect me forsaking all others, if he would be faithful to me till death do us part. Tony replied by saying “I do” just like at the rehearsals and proceeded to read his vows: “I, Tony Williams take you Maya Roberts to be my wife; all that I am I give to you, all that I have I share with you, whatever the future holds, I will always love, cherish and stand by you as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow”. He said it with seeming sincerity. For the first time in a long time, I saw love in his eyes. We both got teary-eyed before he finished reading his vows. The priest proceeded to ask me “Maya Roberts do you believe God has called you for marriage? Will you give yourself to Tony Williams, live with him in the covenant of marriage? Love, comfort, honour, be submissive to him, forsaking all others till death do you part? I looked Tony deep in the eyes; tears began to roll down my cheeks. I looked at the priest and smiled, then at Tony. The entire congregation started cheering and I heard voices saying “Aww… tears of joy” “Ohh…They are so much in love”. I gave the entire congregation a disdainful look from beneath my veil, looked back at the priest and back at Tony. I looked him straight in the eyes as I said “I don’t”. He looked befuddled and asked “You said?”  The confused priest also asked “Pardon?”  I repeated “I do not!”

Before any other person could feign selective deafness, I faced the congregation, removed my veil and started walking down the aisle….alone. The silence of the crowd was deafening. I was going to throw my bouquet when I was almost halfway down the aisle and then I thought to myself “Maya, you do not want any other person in your shoes this time next year”. So I kept walking till I got out of the church, shoved the bouquet in the first bin I found and finally, I had a breath of fresh air. The sun shined brighter. The fields looked greener. I felt alive! Damning all the consequences, I decided to give myself a second chance at life. I got to my car, removed the “Just Married” sign and zoomed off into the streets of Lagos.

Moral Of the Story: Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you are your longest commitment.

PS: The fact that I wrote it doesn’t mean I’m going through it.