Tirade of a Light Sleeper


If someone, anyone had told me that I would write about this again, I would have told them my village people do not hate me that much. For the very least I have their blood flowing through my veins and like they say; blood is thicker than water. I kind of think they forgot to “tern it up” last year but now, I have come to the conclusion that they disturb my life with NOISE biennially.
Since I wrote the last episode about being a light sleeper, I think it will be noteworthy to mention that about five filling stations have been constructed in the RESIDENTIAL AREA where I reside. It is not like it is a problem or anything, I just hope the junkies in my area do not mistake one of them for a party venue one of these days and fling us all to eternity unexpectedly. Anyway, I digress. We are not here for something as trivial as an impending fire disaster. We are here for the nerve-wracking noise.
The Church, The Mosque and The Club House, my raven neighbour who “pray-curses” at the top of her lungs every now and then and the daily “E yi pada” woman. I honestly was getting used to them till a certain man in this RESIDENTIAL AREA decided “You know what, the decibels of noise this area is producing is not enough. Let us take it up a notch” I am certain it was my village people that laid that thought in his mind. They decided and put it in his mind that it had to be an Event Centre this time. A gigantic one just had to be built on the ample space in his compound.
It took a while before we realized it was going to be an event centre. Call me godless but I prayed so hard that that edifice would not be a church auditorium or a mosque while it was being constructed. Just as I thought my prayers had been answered, guess what organization commissioned the Event Centre? Your guess is right. A New Generation Pentecostal Church. If we had opened our gate that day, I am sure they would have parked their vehicles in our compound. There were cars EVERYWHERE. The traffic was horrific. The noise was infuriating. This has been the story every other day since then. Mid-week services, owambes, Church Services on Sundays e.t.c. I had since assumed they rented the hall out for programs only during the day until last night. Brethren! It was hell! Takes me back to all I have been saying. Please, if speakers are not involved in overnight programs, will the prayers and praises not reach heaven? Do people actually join vigils because the blaring from Church speakers prompted them? Is God happy about you denying your fellow humans sleep?
My dad has since become a Knight in Church, so I would rather bottle this up again and not have anyone start a holy gossip about how Sir So So So’s daughter is the devil’s incarnate. Remember the corridor of power I talked about the last time? I AM COMING!!

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